When we are not productive we weaken our willpower.
When our self-control is weak, we tend to procrastinate more and more in a vicious cycle of postponement.
It will lead to lost respect of one’s self.
At this point we may start looking for external validation, and we may get it.
It might make us feel good for the moment, but the fact of the matter is that this external validation is not self-respect.
Earning Self-Respect
Self-respect’s got to be earned on that personal level, where we can tell ourselves, I did everything I possibly could have done.
There is no shortcut because we know down deep how much we gave. If it wasn’t our best effort, we don’t get respect.
Forget about external validation.
What needs to happen is that we’ve got to get on a level of integrity with ourselves, question our motives as to why we do things, measure our efforts, and make sure they align with our values and goals.
Our Corner of the Universe
Harnessing willpower comes first and self-respect follows.
When we focus on our lack of control, we diminish our willpower and possibly convince ourselves that we are not accountable or responsible for the things we should be.
Many things are out of our control, but there is a small realm in which we do have autonomy.
This has to do with ourselves, our learning, our conscious thinking, and how we choose to spend our time.
Alders Huxley said,
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
I post a lot of comments on a lot of websites. This particular article had me put it on my face book page. That almost never happens–unless it’s something I wrote.
Excuse me while I go put it on pintrest.
Thanks for sharing man!
This article is inspirational and motivational as well. Indeed self-esteem is one of the commonest problem faced by especially young people today. I was once in this condition, where I lost myself. I didn’t fathom my inner self as it relates to the purpose of my existence in this world. One of the most difficult thing to do most times is to control ourselves to the point where we feel confidence about lives. Thanks so much for this post.
In this day an age of instant gratification I think this concept is harder and harder to embrace, but it is still absolutely true! There is no short cuts to self respect and noone can give it to us either. We have to be doing things we feel proud of in order to continually generate that feeling of self respect. Great post, and so relevant to today’s up and coming youth who need this kind of information more than ever!
Thanks Liz!
You make an interesting correlation between being production and a sense of well being. That’s so true when you really think about it.
Self respect is exactly that: Something that comes from within. The validation of others is fleeting if we don’t truly value ourselves. I can also relate to your section on control, or lack of it. Focusing on something that’s out of our control is fruitless.
I needed to read this post today as I’ve been feeling somewhat “out of control” with a situation I’m currently dealing with. Thanks for your great insights.
for sure man, the best of luck to you
Wow, what an amazing post on self-respect. You hit the nail right on the head when you said that seeking self-validation is not the same as Earning Self-Respect. This is only something that can be achieved on a personal level and not something that can be gained through acceptance by others. You bring up so many great points in this article that I wish more people would read. Thank you so much!
Awesome post! You have a great presentation and display as well. Self is big within my gym. That is the first thing I tell people before anything, before we even start training. Keep up these post, I’ll do my part and mention this on my gym’s facebook page! Thanks you:)
Thanks for sharing man, it’s greatly appreciated!
Wow I totally agree with you, you for sure have to have integrity and a huge vision that you take immense action to chase every day to earn self respect and improve your self esteem. On the days that I chase my passion and dreams I feel invincible, but on the days that I procrastinate and waste the time that I should be using to work on my goals, I feel terrible. I totally agree with great article!
Same way, when I procrastinate and don’t put in work, I don’t feel to good either – Thanks for sharing man!
When I was reading your post it made me wonder if this is what is causing so many young people to lose their way? Man seem to leave school full of hope and then can’t find work. They do lose motivation and self respect and they lack the maturity to understand that the cure is within themselves. What you have written should be taught in all schools. I agree that is we focus on all the bad things in the world we will be destroyed emotionally and we have to accept that we can only make a small difference. I always think if every person just made a small change in the world we would have a better world don’t you?
For sure! Thank you for your wonderful and insightful comment
This is really eye-opening. I never thought about self-respect in this way – that it’s gotta be earned by doing what we promised ourselves we will do. I agree that external validations and recognition do little to help us experience self-respect, if only momentarily. Thank you for this important reminder.
you’re welcome!
Your position is valueble for me. Thanks!